Quantity of Work Does Not Equal Quality of Work

Have you ever worked at a place where your boss or people who were bosses were complete idiots?  If you answered no, then I hate to break this to you, then you are a boss.  Because you are definitely an idiot.  You may know your way around what the company does or the rules of the company, but that does not mean you are qualified to manage.  Management and the idea of managing is not knowing more about the company's policies than anyone else, it means the ability to manage.  You need to be able to deal with people in the business and social settings.  Management isn't just giving orders and telling your employees that you know what you are doing because you have been with the company for X amount of years.

I have worked in places where upper managers will promote people based on years of service.  Their theory is that if you have been with the company for 5 years, you must know what you are doing.  But shouldn't you know what they are doing if you are their manager?  Or if you did not know this, shouldn't you ask their immediate supervisor?  That would make sense.  But in the land of Corporate America, nothing really makes sense.  When I worked for T. Rowe Price, one of my coworkers named Jo (think Jo from the Facts of Life, except the Jo from the Facts of Life had a sunnier personality), had been with the company for maybe 6 years.  All of the other women in her department were supervisors but herself, but the brains of the company decided she had been with the company long enough and deserved a supervisory title.  But Jo could not deal with other people.  She would threaten people with bodily harm if you did not root for the Orioles baseball team.  (nowadays that would be a laughable offense).  But she had paid her dues and her bosses was her friend, so she was promoted. 
The worst place that I ever worked in was a place in Orlando, FL called Price Management (official slogan:  You'll Regret Taking This Job).  We had a manager named Mike who had been with the company for about 5 years.  And he did know a lot about the policies of the company.  He just chose not to share them with anyone because if anyone knew more than he did, he may lose his job.  Remember, quanity of work does not quality of work.  This was a guy who had zero people skills and yet, he was the first people that new employees met because he was their trainer.  Of course, he felt that rules did not apply to him.  For example, new trainees needed to be at work by 12:45 pm.  He of course, strolled in at 2:00 or so.  How can someone oversleep when you have to be at work at 12:45?  One rule was that bicycles were not allowed on campus, so naturally he rode a bike to work.  Mike also looked like Andy Warhol's ugly son (if Andy Warhol had a son and if I thought Andy Warhol was handsome, which I do not). 

I once worked for a company called USASTATS, which ran a Fantasy Baseball League.  If you think that all fantasy baseball leaguers are geeks and need a life, you would be right.  Jeez, I thought I didn't have a life.  These people take the cake.  Anyway, my boss, Tessa, had been there for a while and I had just started working.  I asked her a question about the company and what to do and her response was, "When we want you to know something we will tell it to you."  This is someone who can be a manager and a leader and I have had to take jobs cleaning toilets to put food on my kids table?  I was definitely born under a bad sign.

What I am trying to get at here is that there are plenty of people in a company who are qualified to lead.  Just because you have been with a company for a long time, you still have to earn the right to lead.  And conversly, just because you have earned your right to lead, does not mean you get to lead.  You still have to be qualified.  Take a business class.  Read a management or leadership book.  Actually use those ideas in the book.  Think outside of the box.  Get in a box if necessary.  Just remember, you are not God's gift to the company (If you are reading this Mike, this means you).  You are replaceable (assuming your boss will replace you, which they usually do not, the weenies).

Everybody's a Lawyer

Some people may say that "Everyone is a Critic."  This phrase works for restaurants or movie studios.  Everyone has their opinion and wants to share it with you, even if you don't care to hear it (isn't that what blogging is for?).  But in the retail business, everyone is a lawyer.  Every customer seems to know the law and is able to prosecute you for whatever injustice the customer deems fitting.

Yesterday I was working in the baby store and a customer was looking a crib mattress.  I quoted her a price of $300 for a mattress (yes, it was that expensive, hey I just sell them).  It turns out the mattress was really $400 and I made a mistake.  I apologized and told her we would accept the $300 price.  Then, after checking with the higher ups, realized I had diarrhea of the mouth and made an innocent mistake.  I explained that to her and said that the price on the floor was the correct price for a different mattress.  Therefore the $400 price was correct.  Oops, sorry about that.  I made a mistake and I apologize.  Not to her.  She wanted to speak to my boss because she apparantly knows the law and the law says I was wrong.  Okay Elena Kagen, I will get my boss for you.

I remember a time working for Blockbuster Video (during a time when people actually went to Blockbuster video and people rented videos and not DVDs or Blu-Rays or X-Rays or Ray-Bans, whatever else they have out now) and Blockbuster used to give out free memberships if you had a valid credit card.  If you did not have a credit card then you could pay a one-time fee of $3.  The $3 was to pay for the use of a collection agency if you failed to return the videos since there wasn't a credit card we could charge.  No one seemed to complain, except for lawyers.  I have no idea why.  They always came in and said it was illegal charge $3.  "I am a lawyer and you cannot do this."  I think they were just too cheap to pay the $3.  Because it was usually someone who did not want to use their credit card (I don't blame them) and were too cheap to pay $3. 

I have always noticed that people who make a lot of money are the cheapest people around and people who make an average salary tend to be the most generous.  Just a thought. 

Anyway, if you are a lawyer and you really think an injustice has been done, then sue the company.  If not,  you are probably just trying to impress someone to get laid.  Or you are just a jerk.  Or you are a jerk who needs to get laid.  Either way stop trying to scare me by saying you are a lawyer.  I really don't care.  I do not make enough money to care. 

Fix the Problem, Not the Blame

I remember reading the book "Rising Sun" by Michael Crichton and reading a passage that says that Japanese businesses belive in "Fixing the problem and not the blame."  I really took that message to heart because the company I was working for at the time (T. Rowe Price) never believed in that.  What the message means is that when there is a problem in a company or department, etc. it is more important to fix the issue and not to determine who was at fault. It is important to determine how the situation presented itself, but that can weight until the issue has been resolved.   I can definitely attest that my department cared more about assigning blame then to fixing the issue.  I remember my manager, Bonnie, dealing with a problem of some sorts, it was probably about a bad transaction or something not getting done the day before, etc. and she and other members of my department were arguing over who was at fault.  No one was trying to fix the problem, they just didn't want to take the blame and they wanted to assign the blame to someone else.  It may have something to with the fact that no one liked each other in our team.  It was like dealing with the tv show "The Real World" only without the annoying cameras in your face and the constant bleeping of dialogue.  (and I really hate "The Real World"). 

Of course I wanted to solve the problem, but no one wanted to solve the problem, only blame other people.  It was a very weird environment.  But it was my first foray into a real job where I got paid vacations and time off for the holidays and insurance.  And whatever a 401k was.  Plus I got my own desk in a cubicle (which was a big deal for me since all of my other jobs involved me wearing a nametag).  The downside to the job was that I had to wear a tie.  It was a very stuffy company.  On casual Fridays, the men did not have to wear ties.  But you had to wear a dress shirt.  Basically a man in a dress shirt without a tie is a slob or a really bad gigalo. But I digress. 

But sometimes, to fix the problem, you need to fix the blame.  Huh?  I worked for CheckFree Corporation (I think they were bought out by Fiserv due to some really really really bad decisions at the office I worked in) and the receptionists (one was Sally the other one I forgot, I probably blocked it out to spare me even more therapy) were always running late.  All of the time.  Maybe once a week.  But they never got fired.  The other admins had to cover for them (it wasn't like we didn't have other things to do.  Okay I was bored, but still...) but our manager, Susie, would not fire them.  I think Susie just didn't want to have to do their job if they got fired or she thought she would have pay the unemployment salary.  I do not know.  I think non-Sally quit after having a child and Sally was let go during a company-wide layoff (more on that later).  

Bottom line is, if there is a problem solve the problem first.  Especially if you are a firefighter.  If my house is on fire, please do not try to figure out who is at fault for trying out his new deep frying turkey maker without reading the directions.  Just get the fire out and then let me know if the turkey was damaged.  Turkeys are not cheap and they are not covered by the homeowners insurance.  I am just saying. 

My First Entry

Hi.  My name is Brian.  I am not a big CEO of a Fortune 500 company and I am not a successful corporate executive who has written hundreds of books on how to make you money.  I am just a 40 year old guy (technically I am 35 for the 5th straight year, but I digress) who has some thoughts on how businesses really do work.  I am just an average schmoe who works hard for a living and has had a number of jobs (usually when my wife is mad at me she will tell me I have had WAY too many jobs, but again, I digress).  But I am not the kind of person who jumps from job to job.  I actually would love to be one of those people who have been at their job for 25 years or so.  I envy those people.  They found a job that they liked and stuck with it (or they hated their job but liked the benefits, either way, good for them).  But unfortunately with today's economy and today's idiot management staff, that is not always the case.  Sometimes you have to roll with the punches and take whatever job will put food on the table or insurance for your family.  I currently have a wife and 2 sons who mean more to me then my comic book collection that I built up for 25 years (sometimes I lie awake crying about that, but that would really be digressing, on in this case, regressing).  Sometimes you have to take a job that will look horrible on your resume.  For example, I once worked for Walt Disney World as a PM Runner and a PM Custodian just to put food on the table, pay for the electricity in the house and have insurance for my family.  These jobs were a definite step back in my rise up the corporate ladder, but with about a 12% unemployment rate in Polk County, FL (the meth capital of the world, thank you very much) beggars can't be choosers.  Actually working for Disney was fun.  I got into the parks for free (it was not like I could afford to go at the prices Disney charges) and I did receive hefty discounts.  PLUS GREAT INSURANCE!  Did I mention insurance?  Also my older son was in love with Cinderella and actually got to meet her.  You can't put a price tag on that (if you could I would put it at $49.95).  But was working for Disney a great career move?  Probably not.  I do not think Corporate America looks too kindly on someone who cleaned toilets.  Maybe that is because the hiring managers of Corporate America need to get their hands dirty, literally.  Instead of putting their hands in the cookie jar (can we say Enron or Worldcom?) maybe they should put their hands in a toilet.  And if you do, I recommend wearing rubber gloves.  Safety first. 
I have thought about what I have learned in about 25 years in the business world; from working my first job as a burger flipper at a Hardees Restaurant to my current job as the store manager for a baby store.  I have worked at temp agencies, to a back office controller for a large investment firm, to an adminstrative assistant for working at the front desk of an apartment complex.  I have come up with at least 9 observations about corporate life.  These observations are:

1. Fix the Problem, Not The Blame


2. Quantity of Work Does Not Equal Quality of Work

3. Human Resources are Neither Human Nor Resourceful

4. Human Resources Are People Too

5. Most Managers are Idiots

6. When a Company Loses Money, Managers are Retained and Staff are Fired

7. Managers Need HR Training Too

8. HR Training Classes are the Worst Idea Ever

9. Butt-Kissers Make the Worst Managers

I know some of the observations contradict each other, but bear with me and I will explain it all.  And if you do not like what I have to say, tough luck, this is my blog and you cannot have it.  So sit back, relax, put your tray in the upright position, extinguish all smoking products, turn off your cellphones and keep your hands and arms inside the ride vehicle at all time because this is going to be a bumpy ride.